Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize