i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize