# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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