it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
