I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
