Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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