You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
