Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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