You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
