i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
