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watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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