I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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