Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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