'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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