Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
