Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I have tasted many bathrooms
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
