Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I need to calm my uterus...
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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