she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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