there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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