dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i just had sex bonerless
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
