so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
