Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
