you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Randomize
