I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
