at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
