You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
