Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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