If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
