I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize
