I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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