i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
