Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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