kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
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