3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
