The best revenge is premature balding
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
