That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
