stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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