i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
