You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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