Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
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