Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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