I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
