never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
