dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
YAS. BRING CRAB.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
