I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
