youre lurking in front of me
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
