Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
