New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
how drunk are you?
Several
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
