I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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