I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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