I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
