I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
