oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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