Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
