I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize