I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
