but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
