shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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