Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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