You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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