My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
