No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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