Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
