umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
50% drunk capacity currently
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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