She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
