i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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